ALONGSIDE.

View Original

Motherhood: A High and Holy Calling

In the time of the Bible, and in fact for most cultures and people-groups throughout history and even today in many places on the Earth—the only role of a woman is in child rearing and homemaking.

I know that every woman becomes a mother under different and unique circumstances. Some have it sprung upon them and it wasn’t anything they ever thought they wanted. Some warm quickly to it, while others very slowly. Some women foster or adopt…and others wait a long time to finally have a long-awaited child arrive.

That is my story…I married my husband, Doug, at 25, and after a couple of years of marriage, we decided we were ready for children. As the months went on when we didn’t have the news we hoped for…it became clear how much I was ready to be a mom—and it was hurting to wait. Everyone else I knew seemed to get pregnant so easily—some even when they didn’t intend to!

Needless to say after two years of infertility and a lot of time and money going to doctors and specialists to try and find out why we weren’t able to get pregnant…and what we could do to make it happen—it finally did! At 30 years old, I finally gave birth to our baby boy, Caleb, who is now 23. Just shy of 3 years after that, we had our daughter Molly who is now 20, and in her junior year of college.

It’s hard for me to imagine a more excited woman than I was to be a mom. I was ready for whatever: sleepless nights, breastfeeding, baby sign language, and staying home. My years as a young mom were good. I loved my kids fiercely although being a parent of little ones was harder than I imagined. There were times it was lonely…and I didn’t have the right answers for how to respond and parent best. As time went on I kind of felt lost and it was hard even though I loved them so much!

One of the things that I felt was that what I was doing (being at home with my kids) was kind of “thankless”…and I wondered what difference I was making.

Some of why my heart bleeds for other moms is because I believe in motherhood! In fact, I don’t think that our society and culture values moms the way we should. I imagine that even 100 years ago, women had a sense of dignity in mothering. I’m sure it had its challenges, and women today have more choices than ever. With all of the choices and demands and opportunities. I fear that it is so easy to feel that kids are just one of the things that we have to manage—and as much as we love them—it is so easy to feel that there are so many more important things to be done.

Have you ever heard the expression “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”? It comes from a poem by William Ross Wallace who was born in 1819 and died in 1891. It is a beautiful poem where he acknowledges the incredible importance of mothering…and even more, its influence and effect not only on the betterment of raising our children but in shaping the world for good.

Motherhood is a High and Holy Calling. The Bible doesn’t give a lot of specifics about being a mother…there is a little on parenting and discipline. Mothering looks a lot different today than it did in biblical times. They mothered close to other women, and they had a village to raise their families. We live in a culture of independence and isolation.

Loneliness gasps at us. Do you ever feel lonely? Being a mom is difficult sometimes: it is demanding and can feel overwhelming. Stop and consider the seasons that we go through in life. The season of parenting is a hugely important one, and depending on how many children you have, can consume many years of your life. But even so, it is a season. Just like growing up years, when you were young and not married, even the importance of the season of engagement…and being newly married, they come and they go. Active mothering is a season and is so important.

In Ecclesiastes 3, the writer reminds us that there is a time for everything - a season for every purpose under heaven. It feels like yesterday I was strapping my kids in booster seats and making sure they washed their hands. The years really do just roll by. I am looking at a new season in my life just around the bend…with only 2 kids they came and left in a flash.

The influence you have as a mom is so important. It is worth every effort when you struggle to keep your patience, when you hide in the bathroom to cry—wishing your child would outgrow the difficult stage they’re in.

But with the same patience and steadfast love that we must give to our children, the Lord gives freely to us. The same discipleship work that Christ is doing within us, we have the privilege of imitating him through parenthood. What a joy it is to be like Christ—to guide and discipline a child in love. What a High and Holy calling it is to imitate Christ through motherhood—creating disciples for the Lord and helping them grow to honor and glorify Him in all that they do.

Galatians 6:9 has been a regular reminder for me to hold and press on, to not give up, and to not wish the days away.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up hope.”

So I encourage you to look to the truth of the gospel as encouragement for our holy task as parents. Knowing that other seasons will come, laying those hopes and fears at the feet of Jesus. For now, put your focus back on what is right in front of you. Your husband, your children, the gift of today that you will never get again. Ask the Lord to help you be content in this season.

Contentment: The key to contentment is gratitude. Contentment is full of peace and means being present.

Comparison: Are your eyes somewhere else? Some other time? And does it steal your joy? Comparison is the thief of joy.

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF:

  • When do you catch yourself feeling weary as a mom?

  • What is something about being a mom that you didn’t expect to be as challenging as it is?

  • When was the last time you experienced something with one of your children that caught your attention as precious and amazing?

  • What is one thing you really want to do well as a mom?

  • How do you think God sees you and your role as a mother right now?

RELEVANT SCRIPTURE:

Psalm 139:13 “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

Proverbs 6:20 “My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”

Proverbs 4:3 “For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother.”

Isaiah 66:13 “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”